Dead Man's Forest
by Laid-Back Brit
Summary: Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny venture into a spooky forest just outside of South Park on Halloween. What will they encounter there? Will they survive? One-shot for Halloween.


**Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.**

* * *

"You guys!" Cartman whined. "Can we get outta here?!"

"What's the matter, Cartman?" Stan teased. "Are you afraid?!"

"Nuh uh! I just think these stupid woods suck! Who's idea was it to come here?!"

"It was yours, fat ass!" Kyle reminded him.

"Shut up, Jew! I wouldn't make us spend Halloween come to a crappy place like this!"

"But you did!" Stan hissed.

"No I didn't! It was probably Kenny!"

"What?!" Kenny mumbled with a glare. "Screw you!"

The boys were in the middle of an overgrown forest outside of South Park. Cartman had dragged them to spend their Halloween evening there – and all four of them were regretting coming. It was dark and cold. An eerie breeze passed through the woods, causing the branches to creak as their dead leaves feel from them.

"Boy, this place is creepy!" Stan commented.

"Yeah," Kyke agreed. "I'll say, dude!"

"Awww, you guys are scared?!" Cartman smirked at them. "You wanna go home to your mommies, you little wussies?"

"At least our moms are at home for us right now!" Kyle jeered. "Unlike yours, fat ass, who has to work late tonight at her dirty job!"

"SHUT UP, KYLE! DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT MAH MOM!"

" _Grrrrrrr…_ "

No sooner had Cartman finished screaming at Kyle when something filled the air; it was a faint but near growling sound. It caused all of the boys to freeze, their eyes widening in alert.

"What was that?" Stan asked, panicked.

"I dunno!" Kenny mumbled.

"It came from behind you, Cartman!" Kyle pointed to the fat kid. "Please tell us that was just you farting.

"SHUT UP, JEW! GOD DAMN IT, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"

"ROOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!"

The boys jumped in terror as a deafening roaring sound blasted at them – causing a smell of horrible breath to fill the air around them. They were thrown off their feet to tumble roughly along the ground.

It was only when they rolled to a stop that they were able to look up – and fear filled their faces when they saw what was screaming at them.

Towering over the four of them, long branch arms stretched out into clawed hands with fierce threatening expressions on their terrifying bark faces – were three tall tree monsters.

"ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!" roared the tree monsters.

"AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" screamed the boys.

The tree monsters advantages dangerously, causing the frightened boys to take off as fast as they could. They ran through the forest as quickly as their little legs would carry them. They could hear the wooden beasts chasing after them, however, which was causing their alarm to grow.

"Don't kill me!" Stan yelled as he ran. "Kill the fat ass!"

"Don't kill me!" Cartman cried as he ran. "Kill the jew!"

"Don't kill me!" Kyle shouted as he ran. "Kill-"

A muffled scream from behind Kyle interrupted him, stopping him, Stan and Cartman in their tracks. They turned around to see what was going on – and their faces went white with horror.

Kenny had been grabbed in the branches of one of the tree monsters. All three of them were tugging on the hooded boy between them, causing him to holler in alarm and yell to his friends for help. The others only stood back and watched as the monsters played tug-of-war using their friend – before Kenny was suddenly ripped apart! His head was torn clean off his body, from which erupted showers of blood, painting the dark forest a deep shade of red.

"Oh my God! They killed killed Kenny!" Stan cried.

"You bastards!" Kyle snapped.

Almost immediately, the tree monsters dropped their terrifying act.

Their faces fell as they looked at the bloody mess all around them. Guilt took the place of their frowns as they shamefully observed the boy they had decapitated. Then they turned towards his friends, who were all glaring at them – none of them thinking that he could have still been alive if they'd done something to help him.

"Oh, was he your friend?" Tree Monster One asked. "Sorry about that!"

"We didn't mean to kill him," apologised Tree Monster Two. "We were just trying to scare you guys!"

"Scare us?" Stan exclaimed.

"Yeah, y'know; kids like you are always coming to scary woods like this on Halloween," Tree Monster Three explained. "We thought it would be more fun for you if you encountered us guys!"

"Fun?!" Kyle repeated with a glare. "Dude! That was _not_ fun! You scared the crap outta us!"

"Yeah, man, you suck!" Cartman added.

"We know," Tree Monster Two replied sadly. "And we feel terrible."

"Hold on!" Tree Monster One raised a branch. "Let us go get something for you kids to show how sorry we are!"

Determined to set things right, the three sorry monsters headed off into the forest, leaving the annoyed boys alone in the area they'd filled with blood.

* * *

It wasn't long before the tree monsters came back. They were carrying some things in their branches, which they extended out gently towards the boys.

"Here," said Tree Monster Three. "Have some candy from us."

"Candy?" Kyle inquired.

"Yeah," said Tree Monster One. "As a token of how sorry we are for scaring you boys."

"And for killing your friend, too," added Tree Monster Two.

"Ah, screw Kenny!" Cartman said. "I'm just glad you guys didn't kill me!"

Stan and Kyle peered at the candy the Tree Monsters were offering for them to take. It was red and sticky from what had showered that area earlier.

"Yuck!" Stan cried in disgust. "That candy's covered in Kenny's blood!"

"No way are we taking that from you!" Kyle added.

"I will!" Cartman said. "I'll have that candy, blood or not blood!"

Before Stan and Kyle could stop him, Cartman swiped the candy from the tree's branch. He began to shovel it into his mouth, paying no mind to the taste of blood that was starting to fill him.

"Eww!" Stan exclaimed, squirming.

"That's gross, Cartman!" Kyle glared. "How the hell could even a fat ass like you eat candy full of blood!"

"Cuz I love candy, I'm not fat and you both suck!" With his mouth full of bloodied candy, Cartman pointed to Stan and Kyle, then to the way out of the forest. "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

Still shovelling the blood-covered sweets into his jaws, Cartman began to head out of the forest, leaving Stan and Kyle behind with the tree monsters.

Kyle smirked as he watched the fat boy leaving. "At least we're rid of him!"

"Yeah!" Stan nodded. "C'mon, dude! Let's head back to South Park, get our costumes on and go trick-or-treating!"

"Well you have yourselves a great night, boys!" Tree Monster One smiled, raising a branch to wave cheerily to the pair.

"Happy Halloween!" Tree Monster Two beamed as he did the same.

"Can we expect you back here next here?" Tree Monster Three asked the boys.

"Hell no!" Stan cried.

"Yeah, screw you!" Kyle agreed.

With that, the two best friends made their way quickly out o the forest and back to South Park, leaving the disappointed tree monsters all alone in the forest with Kenny's bloodied corpses, which was now being devoured as usual by rats.

* * *

 **The end.**


End file.
